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Hey sis, hey! Can we chat real quick? Lately, I’ve been doing some real self-work, I mean really working on myself. I know; it seems everyone has been on this healing journey lately. Although it may seem like a very redundant saying these days, I love that for people, especially myself.

I didn’t realize this, but I was a people pleaser. I wanted everyone to like me. I wanted to be the “go-to person,” you know, the girl you can depend on or someone that everyone loves. That mindset was not healthy for me. It honestly gave me a small false hope of reality, if that makes sense, because it left room for so much disappointment, and it was an unnecessary disappointment I was causing on myself. Now, it’s okay to show kindness to folks, but you don’t have to overextend yourself for people’s satisfaction or for your gratification. No, ma’am, No sir.

One of the things I’ve asked in my prayer time to God is to be equipped mentally with his word and let me find my validation in him. I looked to people to give me some sort of validation for my confidence booster, when in the end, I was left with a bunch of heartaches and confusion. I found myself looking less to people and more to God as time passed. What it did was take the focus off trying to be more liked or whatever else I felt like I was looking for.

These days, I find myself not seeking that validation from folks, whether on social media or in my everyday life, such as work. I first pray that I don’t have the spirit or mindset that is looking or placing my hope in people but rather say okay. How is what this is person doing or not doing impacting me? Are their actions directly affecting me? If not, why are you focusing so much on how they feel or don’t about you? Something to think about, huh?

Well, if you are trying to break free of this mindset. I say first, pray! Pray that way of thinking off of you. Secondly, you can only live your life for yourself. No one else can live the life that was divinely created for you. Lastly, sis! Stop over-extending yourself. Entertain what you have the mental and physical capacity to do.

Let me know in the comments if this was or is you!

Photos by Victoria Saperstein

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