This past November, we celebrated five years of marriage, quarantine style. Honestly, I wasn’t in the mood to celebrate. I was only two months postpartum, my oldest boys were doing virtual learning, and I’d just returned to work from maternity leave.
Like many married couples, five years is a milestone in your marriage. We wanted to celebrate it somewhere on the beach, drinking plenty of margaritas. However, as I mentioned, we had to do it quarantine style. Jack had a private chef come to our home. Compliments to The Busy kitchen, by the way, the food was AMAZING! We dropped the kids off and just enjoyed and reflected with one another.
Although we have been together almost 14 years, 5 of those years have been filled with marital bliss.
It’s not easy, but it’s for sure worth it, so I’m sharing a few things I’ve learned so far in being married.
Prayer
Praying has been the foundation of our marriage. It was we cling to when we are going through rough seasons. Honestly, we try to pray daily with one another, either when we are getting up in the morning, on the way to work, or just when we remember that we need to stop and recenter our hearts and mind on Christ. Something about praying with Jack makes me fall more in love with him.
Identity
You should have an identity outside of your marriage. Yes, you are somebody’s wife or husband, but that doesn’t mean that is your whole existence. I’m grateful that Jack and I allow one another to be our true selves and experience things that make us happy. It feels good when I attend things that I like to do, such as women empowering events or have a girls’ day out, and I can still come home to someone who’s happy that I could take a moment for me. My mindset is, don’t try to change me, and I won’t try to change you. It has worked for us. We have created healthy boundaries that allow us to be devoted to one another while still pursuing things that make us happy.
Open Communication
Keep the line of communication open. I will say I am just starting to get to this point, and it honestly took me a while. Jack is a big communicator. Me! I will shut down when you disagree with my perspective or if I don’t want to hear it. That honestly got me nowhere, and I had to make changes because I didn’t always seem to be the difficult one. I started being vocal about what bothers me and communicating what my needs were. Let me tell you; it’s made all the difference in our marriage positively.
Friendship
Having a friendship is vital in a marriage. I’m my true self with Jack and can talk to him about anything. We both tell people that we are each other best friends; some may think it’s a cliche, but it’s seriously the truth. I have the most fun with my husband than I do with any other person. Seriously, my favorite person ever!
Although we are still learning and growing in our marriage, I’ve enjoyed doing life with Jack and wouldn’t want it any other way. Let me know below what you’ve learned in your relationship/marriage that is working for you.
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